Looks like his warranty just expired.

My laptop screen started blanking out a mere three weeks before my AppleCare warranty expired, so we rushed it off to the good doctors at Apple. They gave the computer plenty of TLC while it was in their possession, and it came back eight days later not only with a repaired screen ribbon cable but also with a new motherboard, trackpad, screen, keyboard plate, and all new outsides. I’ve inspected it closely enough to determine that it’s as clean as it’s ever been, much less since Peter dumped an entire latte in it a year ago, and that the space bar is no longer sticky and I don’t have to blow into the headphone port like an old Nintendo cartridge to get sound out of my speakers; but Aaron, Aaron has been scrutinizing it, caressing it with the fervor of a mother for her newborn baby.

He was peering at the top of the screen housing when I said, mostly joking, “You never look at me like that, you know.”

“Like what?” he asked.

“With that sort of lustful intensity,” I said, all corny-seductive. “Like every one of its parts looks delicious. You never look at my parts that way.”

“Well,” he said drily, “maybe that’s because your parts aren’t all brand-new.”

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