Conversations with a nearly-six-year-old

As I was drawing a skunk for Noah to color –

David: “I don’t like skunks. They spray stink at people.”

Me: “You know, some people keep skunks as pets.”

David: “Is that so they can use the skunk to spray stink at bad people?”

Me, trying not to raise my eyebrows too conspicuously: “They take the skunk to a veterinarian to have the skunk’s stink-sprayer taken out. Then the skunk can’t spray stink at people anymore, and they keep it as a pet like a dog or a cat.”

David: “If the veterinarian puts the stink-sprayer back in, then can they use it to spray stink at bad guys?”

Me: “I don’t think they can put it back in. I think they can only take it out.”

David: “Oh.” Noting that I’m now drawing a lion for Noah: “Are skunks afraid of lions?”

Me: “You know, I’m not sure. I don’t know if any skunks have ever met any lions, because they don’t live in the same place.”

David: “The lion might eat the skunk. But the skunk might spray stink at the lion.”

Me: “Right. I don’t really know who would win.”

David: “What if you sprayed fire at a lion?”

Me: “I’m thinking that wouldn’t be very good for the lion.”

David: “Would it make the lion dead?”

Me: “Yep, it would probably kill the lion.”

David: “What if you sprayed fire at a bad guy?”

***

Upon noting the mat on our porch:

D: “Why does that say ‘Welcome’?”

Me: “‘Welcome’ is another way of saying ‘We’re glad you’re here.’ So we have a welcome mat by our door to tell any visitors that come by that we’re glad they’ve come to visit.”

D: “But what if a bad guy comes to visit and reads the sign?”

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5 Responses to “Conversations with a nearly-six-year-old”


  1. 1 Michaelanne April 26, 2009 at 10:38 am

    he’s got a point. what if a vampire sees the welcome mat and is technically invited in?

  2. 3 Rachel May 1, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    I see David with a future in law enforcement, possibly animal control :b

  3. 4 Rachel May 1, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    I am way late on this one.

    RE: The post on your old blog where you addressed how we do funerals all wrong around here. I have wondered the same thing, as far as whether this is a southern thing or an American thing. I have even considered traveling north and attending some random funerals to find out. And a sidenote: nothing bugs me more than a nice ol’ southern funeral where the preacher actually does and alter call. It’s like “can we please stay on the topic, which is that someone died already, and (like you said) IT SUCKS for those of us who are still here.”

  4. 5 justin May 2, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    wonderful! i can see david’s well on his way to adding some new skunk/lion/fire-related entries to the uncyclopedia.com page about Weapons That Don’t Exist But Should or whatever.


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